Keep The Customer Satisfied

things that are a pain in the ass today

• my dad

Remember that one time Outkast made a western movie-musical?

i hate when my dad needs help with a computer issue and is describing what’s wrong but uses his own terminology when he knows the correct terms.

“so this thing, let’s call it ______.”
“no, let’s call it what it’s called so i’ll know what the hell you’re talking about.” 

whenever my dad asks me to do something nice for my brother (or anyone for that matter), he acts as if i’m a troll under a bridge who might catch fire if exposed to prolonged kindness.

like it would be the equivalent of jesus healing the lepers if i could allow my brother to access my itunes via homesharing.

tuchus:

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness. it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity. shit rocked, shit blew. i was happy as heck, i was sad as heck. it was rainy, but it was also really sunny at the same time. i cried a lot and yelled at my mom for cancelling my world of warcraft subscription, i shagged my hot busty girlfriend. it was hot outside, it was cold outside. i danced in the rain, i killed a man for being too happy near me. i thought memes on tumblr were hilarious, i was really smart. i liked corn, i didn’t like corn. my cat scratched me, i didn’t even have a cat. it was nighttime, it was daytime.—in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.